A Blue Autumn Sky

Originally written on Sept. 21, 2000

"It must suck not to be me" is only one of the thoughts that crosses my mind as I sit here in my new chair in the front yard, basically doing nothing. Oh, one could say I was reading my mail, catching up with the latest "expert" opinion on the long-lasting, devastating effects of divorce on children--this, naturally, coming from the admitted veteran of a 53 year marriage. Next month we'll probably get the views of a virginal nun or priest on the joys of natural childbirth--or so I suppose. One could say I do not hold great value in the opinions of people who have not experienced whatever it is that they purport to be experts in, and one would be right.

The weather today has been idyllic. I know this, not from the fact that I've been outside all day enjoying it, but because my brief ventures out of the house to feed my pets and collect my mail have done the unthinkable, lured me away from my computer (and the internet), away from my afternoon television shows, away from the new murder mystery I've been devouring every minute I can steal, and into a canvas recliner under the trees in my front yard. So here I sit for a while, doing absolutely nothing and enjoying it immensely.

My cats set a perfect example for me. My unexpected appearance in their domain temporarily stimulated them into a burst of "Busy Cat" antics. They played chase and took turns at the kitty drinking fountain--reminding me that the jug is nearly empty again. It must be my turn to fill it. I, after all, am their designated "person." The one allowed to tend their needs and the one they are too polite, for the moment, to point out has fallen down on her job.

They spend time grooming each other--a hint that I should brush my hair and change my clothes before going to my club meeting tonight. They lay next to each other or touch or brush against each other in familial tenderness with such open signs of love and affection it brings tears to my eyes--and reminds me how lucky I am to have so many people to love and who love me. Now they are all napping, the cats that is. 
At rest. At peace. With the world, each other and me.

The sky is just blue today, no tints, no clouds, pure blue that warms your heart and soul. No clouds, although they are predicting rain tonight, tomorrow or the weekend for sure. Not fair to everyone trapped inside every day by work or school. The temperature is perfect, well, hot enough to mark the rim of summer and with a cool edge to tell me fall has arrived and I'd better make plans to get out to the local orchard before the best of the crop is gone.

Rain will bring that sudden drop in temperature that prompts my annual scramble for warm clothes. Now, let's see. Where did I put them? Surely I had to know that summer wouldn't last forever and it would eventually get cold again. Wishful thinking gone awry.

I usually sleep with a bit of the window cranked open in my bedroom. Not all winter, of course. It's not like I'm a health nut or something. I like the feel of fresh air on my face, though, to let me know what kind of day is just outside my well-insulated house. I especially enjoy the sounds and smells of a long, slow, steady rainfall. That's my idea of another slice of heaven.

Sometimes I think my insulation is really working against me. It holds the heat all summer, especially in the late afternoon when I find myself so warm and cozy I just drift off to sleep, sitting straight up on the sofa! At least, that's what I blame for it.

In cool weather, the house is slow to let me know that it's warming up outside. Artificial climate control, a.k.a. the furnace, throws all that off. I manage to stay comfortable all winter with a moderate amount of heat, although I tend to keep my house cooler than most people I know. "Turn down the heat and put on a sweater" still works around here, and almost lets me afford the high gas bills, almost.

Summers, of course, in the Midwest and within the walls of my un-air-conditioned house are hotter than hell. I don't NOT have air-conditioning as some kind of protest or statement. It is nothing more than the fact that I couldn't afford it after my divorce and have survived without it since. When my house gets to be unbearable, I hunt down a/c elsewhere. 

Around July and August, I often think about having a central unit installed--the only thing that would really solve the problem--but the cost of buy the unit, not to mention the added expense of paying for the power to run it, puts me right off it again.

People tell me they can't understand how I can live without it. Sometimes I don't either. Then I go out somewhere cooler, to the stores, at my friends', or I just take another cold shower and sit in the yard until the sun begins to go down. I go outside and dream of a beautiful day like today. Not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, not too wet, not too windy. A day made for me and my cats to lounge around in the yard and just be.
                       
                                      ***

It hardly seems possible that 10 years and 7 days have passed since I wrote this, my very first "Reflections of My Day." 

Back then my life and world were very different than they are now. I was living alone in the small home I'd raised my family in; now all the chicks have grown up and moved away. I was living on an invested settlement; all of which has also flown away. 
It was a simple, quiet, satisfying life.

Per the request of my youngest offspring, I am reposting these glimpses of my life as it was then. And per her request, I will continue to add more glimpses of my life as it is today. 

Hopefully, my others readers will enjoy both equally. ;-D